Examples of suicidal ideation in a postpartum mom

Personal experiences,
September 2019.

“She’s seven months now. If I can make it to 12 months without killing myself, then she will have had a good year of breastmilk.”

“If I die when she’s a newborn, she won’t remember me at all when I’m gone. That means she won’t feel pain and she’ll never miss me.”

“I have this big ‘family’ of 12 people, but no one checks on me. If they’re not seeing me now, would they even notice if I died?”

“My emotions are all over the place. My spouse resents me and treats me with contempt. What will life be like if I live forever with a person who hates me and thinks I’m unworthy? I’d rather die than live as a nuisance to the other parent of my children.”

“I’m not getting enough help. I’m not allowed to ask directly of anyone in my family. I can’t see a local counselor, I can’t see a local psychiatrist. I may as well die if I can’t ask for help without reprimand.”

Months can pass like this, rationalizing death in of slew of silent thoughts, thoughts like those above that can build to a single moment. It only takes one second—one decision—to die by suicide.

In a postpartum mom who is suffering like this, with all the new stressors that accompany her new role, I wager it could be even less time.

So, I beg you:

Ask how she is. Ask again. Don’t take “fine” for an answer.

Do something kind anyway. She NEEDS it, maybe to survive.

Check on her, and remember the people who check on you. They’re the ones who really care.

Keep your loved one alive with attention. Don’t forget about them.

Please don’t let them leave us.